Quote Author: Steven Wright

Steven Wright – ‘One time a cop pulled me ove…

‘One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said Didnt you see the stop sign? I said Yeah but I dont believe everything I read’

Quote Author: Steven Wright | Quote Genre: |

Steven Wright – ‘Tell a man that there are 40…

‘Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and hell believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.’

Quote Author: Steven Wright | Quote Genre: |

Steven Wright – ‘There?s a fine line between …

‘There?s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot.’

Quote Author: Steven Wright | Quote Genre: |

Steven Wright – ‘Many people quit looking for…

‘Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.’

Quote Author: Steven Wright | Quote Genre: |

Steven Wright – ‘My friend has a baby. Im wri…

‘My friend has a baby. Im writing down all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.’

Quote Author: Steven Wright | Quote Genre: |

Steven Wright – ‘My theory of evolution is th…

‘My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.’

Quote Author: Steven Wright | Quote Genre: |

Steven Wright – ‘My girlfriend does her nails…

‘My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When shes asleep I go over there and write misspelled words on them.’

Quote Author: Steven Wright | Quote Genre: |

Steven Wright – ‘When I woke up this morning …

‘When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me Did you sleep well? I said No I made a few mistakes’

Quote Author: Steven Wright | Quote Genre: |

Steven Wright – ‘Its a small world but I woul…

‘Its a small world but I wouldnt want to have to paint it.’

Quote Author: Steven Wright | Quote Genre: |

Steven Wright – ‘Last night I played a blank …

‘Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.’

Quote Author: Steven Wright | Quote Genre: |